刪掉吧

不要留下一絲可以挽回的餘地,沒有意義的...

就離開吧,走著走著就會走出去的... 一直蹲在那只是徒染屍臭,久了自己也變得跟屍體一樣僵直腐敗. 固執的臭皮囊卸下就快走!! 用滾的也行,先離開吧...

謝謝...

感謝家人、師長、朋友以及同學們的關心、跟我聊天、請我吃東西、邀我出去走走、來陪我住... 也謝謝Susan考驗我的韌性,讓我知道我確實是個好傢伙,雖然對許多的事始終不太敏感.

走出來了,只是這一時半刻還沒能調適得好...剩下來的都是硬工夫,得好好的面對它.

這陣子其實厭煩了面對每件不如意的事時可以替自己找的藉口...就那一個. 這真的很失德,也顯得自己的氣度不夠廣,自己的懶於應付現實卻欲歸罪於情感,使我明顯的瞧不起自己,這不是一個負責任的態度,既然都讀過像是 逝者已矣 這類的字句,就該知道自己以處在 過去心、現在心與未來心都不可得的應用當中了.

好好紮實的過吧,做人要磊落,欺瞞不是解決問題的方式,做自己能做的,不做自己不該做的...這是我反思這整件事時的一些感想.

盡了本分,把姑娘背過河就當放下,別要過了兩個山頭還背在心上,豈不累人? 接下來等著我的就是那些可愛的研究了,我來了,讓我跟你們廝混吧. 雖然技巧有點生疏,但過一陣子就會重新熟稔了. 其實我真的很幸運,有這麼好的家人、師長、朋友以及同學... 要知足,要知足... 需要的不多,想要的太多... 要慚愧,要慚愧....

開始? 結束? .....

終於在禮拜三,把一直都割捨不下的心頭肉送走了...在這段兩年多的關係當中,從一開始的峰迴路轉到撥雲見日,步步驚魂到見招拆招,以為終於到了一個可以稍事喘息的階段時,卻忘了東西擺久了會過期,喜歡的感覺也一樣,她對我的喜愛就這樣過了賞味期限,既然都過期了也就該丟了,只是我的她念舊,在找到新鮮的同時,卻對舊有的有種掛念,而我真正的痛也由此開始.

For Susan

Dear Susan,

I loved you more than everything in this world. I promised you that I will never give up on you. Be patient with you while you are angry. Having no sex with you after we married. Make money as soon as possible to ensure you a secure family. Make you laugh everytime you upset. Agree on everything you agree and disagree while you don't like.

Even when I noticed that you have relationship with the other guy. I still hold with hope, until you told me that you no longer have feeling on me. My heart just stop bumping. Although I can't understand what you mean, I know there are something bad going on. I love you Susan. In front fo you, I have no dignity and any sense of ethic. I just want to be with you as long as my life could last. But feeling's gone... What else I can do to win you back? My mind was shockingly empty when I saw the letters and files you saved and treasured. I don't want to believe what was happended, unfortunately it's not depend on me.

You made my miserable life tasted the true joy. You done enough. Sorry for the feeling you missed on me. Hope you can find your feeling again, no matter on when where and what. If you were tired, just come to me. I shall provide you some silly jokes and a warm welcome.

Good Bye Susan.


Yours,

William